When you're furloughed in Frisco, you make koozies. Yes, koozies.

A beer koozie*, as defined by an especially impressive Wikipedia entry, is "a fabric or foam device that is designed to keep a beverage can or bottle cold." Well, I would argue that a koozie is so much more, but everyone knows Wikipedia is always right, so why bother.

The point is, that beer koozies are an absolutely genious invention. For those of you who don't have any around the house, get some. They're not white trash: they're classy.

In my extra furloughed time, I've begun crocheting beer koozies. I have a lot of extra yarn lying around the house and what better way to use it? The great thing about crocheted beer koozies are that they're easy to manufacture (I have an Asian sweatshop worker who can make one in about 15 minutes**), cheap, and can stretch to fit almost any drinking container. As you can see above, the koozies can fit a beer can (not a cat) and can also stretch to fit a large red cup.

If you'd like a lesson in crocheting koozies, please let me know. I've perfected the pattern.



* Some argue that KOO-zee is, in fact, an incorrect pronunciation and instead should be pronouced KHO-zee (like cozy). Despite long controversy and argument, there is no definitive answer to this debate. In my personal opinion, I believe there are multiple acceptable pronunciations and spellings of this word, but some disagree and for the sake of the reader, I have used only one spelling variation here.

**I do not support sweatshop labor of any kind, including Asian sweatshops. My Asian sweatshop worker is really a friend (employed as a medical doctor) who comes over sometimes and crochets beer koozies instead of interacting with people at parties. We call her a sweatshop worker. She is not, in any way, a sweatshop worker. She drives a BMW.