When you're furloughed in Frisco, you file for unemployment

Or at least you try to. Filling for unemployment, it seems, is quite a challenge.

The state of California cannot take your application for unemployment online if you've worked in another state over the last 18 months. Instead, they ask that you call since your application requires extra attention. Fine. Not that I'm thrilled to have to interact with a government employee over the phone rather than enjoy the comforting anonymity of clicking my mouse and filling in text boxes online, but I can deal with that.

So, this afternoon, I called the number (please note, fellow furloughed: apply for unemployment by Friday on your last week of work. this way, you will be eligible for benefits one week sooner than if you wait until Saturday). I was greeted with an automated message: “We’re currently receiving more calls than we can handle. Please listen to this message.” Ok. I start listening.

I'm waiting for the part where they ask you to press 1 if you'd like to file a new claim. I wait.

I wait some more.

And then. THEN. Before I have had the opportunity to push 1 or 2 or any number that will indicate my needs, the automated messages chirps a pleasant "Thank you" and disconnects. Of course I proceeded to call back three or four times to relive this lovely display of customer service.

So what did I do? I lied about earning money outside the state so that the online system would allow me to fill out an application. This is probably a crime punishable by time in prison or some such ridiculous thing, but at this point, free meals and a place to stay sounds kind of nice.